Lord, I trust you! And yet, I don't know how to trust you!  I try and try.

     Some people think if you don't have the faith to trust God without ever doubting, you must not be a good Christian.  Others say, "just believe, and then go out and do the works of God."  I would do this, if I knew how.

     Thank you, Lord, that my work is to rest in you. To accept the fact that you are Lord. If I could "do it myself", I wouldn't need a Savior, a Deliverer.

     Thank you, Heavenly Father, that you are reliable.  Trustworthy. Your faithfulness doesn't depend on my "feelings" about whether I am able to believe in everything you've promised.

     So, Lord, I leave me, and life, and the world -- everything! -- in your hands. My salvation is safely kept for me. My life is safe from soul's harm.

     I believe in you, Lord. I trust you. Help my unbelief!


     I am absolutely nothing. I can't even trust Him unless He enables me to. I can't rest in Him unless he works in me.  But this is His work!

     I can trust Him to do His work in me. I must "be about my Father's business." But He's the boss, not me. He's still in control. I can trust Him to complete his own work in me.

Mine is the being willing.
Mine is surrendering all into his hands.
His to work through me, shine through me,
His to carry out the Father's business -- His Work -- in his own time and way.

     In this way, "I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me." I can trust Him to carry out the Father's business in me, or for me, or through me, or in spite of me. After all, it's His!


     Feeling the aching of a bleeding dying aching hurting crumbled world. Trusting God, and yet not physically very strong, in constant pain for many years.  And honestly not having the capability, any more, to know whether in this life God is going to "fix" the little suffering saints of world, and all of us.

     Yes, we are given many reassurances about the future we share with God, about his glory being revealed in us.  But what about today?  Will I even live long enough to share in that prophecied glory?  Or is dying, in order to receive a future hope, what "the kingdom" all about?

     So many prayer requests, the "feel" of so many burdens for others. I can't see the hope of God, at times, for the breaking depth of need. Is it in desperation that I cry, or in a stubborn hope even when no hope should be there?

Yet, hope, I will, and trust his hour,
And firm shall be my stand;
For I choose God's almighty power,
And being led out by his hand.
Hope, oh great heart, and do not bow
Before the dread onslaught,
For God is God, no matter how
The world is now being taught.

His work is coming right, at last,
And when the glory falls
And poisons of slow doubts are past:
I shall hear only triumph's calls.

4. "BE ONE"

     Our Lord spoke, in his Holy Word. "Be One." He called for love among all God's children. Unity in the Body of Christ.

     How can this be? Unity seems a hopeless, fragmented thing. Churches and individuals are torn by strife.   Brokenness and division and well-meaning advice and stubborn doctrinal views tear at us. The church is a body hurt and ripped apart.

     Yet, oh Lord, even so, we all are the Body of Christ.  And "if one member suffers, all suffer." Oh, may it be said that if one rejoices, all will rejoice!


     Unity. One in the bonds of love. I ache and long to be with the fellowship of God's people. Yet I have been broken too long, sick too much, in the isolation ward of life.  Is it odd that I can be more "present" with persons when I am absent from them?

     When I'm with other people, the stress of trying to "be and go" is too much for my weary body. But when I have heard about their needs, then come away -- oh, how I can begin to praise and pray and identify! Then I can feel their needs, hold their hands (figuratively, from within my heart), and open my heart in love to spill out the Father's blessing on all of them.

     I creep into the safety of my prayer closet, where all is quiet and still. No more impressions are coming "at" me to confuse or de-solidify my thoughts. It is then that I begin to open my heart and hands to God to plead with him to bring his relief to the weary, heart-achy ones who are in such great need.

     When I'm in my prayer closet, I open my heart.  And all the saints of the world become my brothers and sisters.  I may
pray, in agape love, for the weak and lowly, the high and holy, the troubled and overshot, even to the "big shot".
         We are one in the bonds of love. Christ loves us!  So let us love him in return. And join our spiritual hands together to uphold one another. That his renewal may pour out upon all of us. That his glory may be revealed and "all flesh see it together."  Make us one in you, oh Lord.

    And then, we shall have won! One in the bonds of love. Yes, this is unity of the Body of Christ. Because he is Head over all.

    Even so, Lord Jesus, come.


I see a little child smile --
Jesus seems especially near.
Someone says, "oh, thank you!" --
And I think of my Jesus dear.

If I've money in my pocket,
I remember the Parable of the Lost Coin.
In all my acts of thought and prayer
I try to keep my Jesus there.